Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

i cant admit

... that i love you, although you already know because ive told you. I'm realizing that the love that ive told you about and the love you know about is different from the love that i can't admit to having. Its a weird feeling to have to love someone to a limit. Like, how do you limit love? And what do i do with the rest of it? You've told me time and time again that you love me and that your love for me has no limits... but it does.

I can't admit... to wanting to be in your arms at night. Although i have, its still said with limitations. I can't cry about it. That extension of love cant be expressed because, well, it just can't. I can't admit... to feeling like a step-child sometimes when you arent around, or when you're enjoying limitless love with someone else, or when i do things alone but would rather be doing them with you. I just can't admit that. I can't admit to having mixed feelings about this. About you. About us. I can't admit not really knowing where my feelings stand with you. I can't admit to sometimes wanting what i don't want... it just doesn't make sense. I can't admit to the jealousy i feel at times, especially as of late... i just cant admit it. So, i smile. I smile the smile you love to see. The smile that 'brightens your day'. The smile that masks the frown caused by giving limited love.
Although i have these mixed emotions, i am genuinely concerned about everything going on. I care very deeply for those you love limitlessly and would never want them uncomfortable around me. Especially since they are aware of the love you have for me and have admitted their own jealousy of what we have. I love that you love me and that you make it a point to let me know and feel that. I enjoy our closeness, our friendship, our unique 'thing'. Hmmm. The limiteless love that i have for you can only be shown by cooking your favorite meals, accepting my place in your life, accepting your love for what it is, and making the best of it. I can't admit to never wanting any of this in the first place and never wanting it to go away. I can't admit... i just can't. Its a beautiful sadness.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Can my radio get any louder right now?!?!

So, I'm blasting (not really) this new joint from MJB and Diddy and awwwwwww man... this joint is hot! Mary always says what I'm feeling but can't think to say or just don't have the courage to admit. Music is my life!

Anyway, enjoy the song.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Friday, February 4, 2011

Shawn's wedding

Everyone who knows me, even just a little, knows that I LOVE Boyz II Men. Everyone also knows that my favorite member of the group is Shawn Stockman. Well, I found a story about his wedding to long-time best friend, Sharonda on youtube and I wanted to share.

Enjoy!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Love Hurts - Ralph Tresvant

One of my absolute favorite songs by Ralph Tresvant.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Tuesday, February 1, 2011